28- Being Good

The upcoming topic will be What's Missing?  Join me Monday to see more! 

Do you ever wonder what the benefits are of leading a good life?  Why is it so important and why does it matter?  I remember my Mom always saying, do unto others as you would have them do unto you.  While that is a very valid reason to live a good life, I also think it goes much deeper than that.

I used to struggle with the message I got when I saw good things happening to bad people and bad things happening to good people.  How is it fair to have to face bad things when you try so hard to be good and why do some people have great things happen to them when they are not the most upstanding of citizens? 

I finally had an epiphany about this a few years ago.  I realized the most important thing about living a good life is how it makes you feel inside.  It is all about how you feel when you help others, do good for your community or come from a good healthy place in your heart.  You may be the only one that gets to feel this, but it is such a great feeling.  You get the blessings, peace of mind and clear conscience of knowing you are coming from a place of love.  It is crazy to think that we are the beneficiaries when we do good for others, but that is exactly what happens.  The more good we do, the better we feel inside and the more we grow!

I was on a coaching call the other day and the speaker, Derek Rydall, made a comment that goes right along with this topic.  He said "the true state of poverty is being unhappy on the inside".  His point is exactly right.  How we feel on the inside is so important and it shapes so much of who we are.  We make choices each day that shape how we feel on the inside.  When we are doing good, we feel good.  When we are doing bad, we feel bad and what could be worse than that? 

Questions:
Either journal about these topics or spend some time thinking about each of your answers.
- How do you choose to live your life?
- Do you try to live a good positive life?
- Are you happy on the inside?
- If not, what do you need to do on the outside to feel good on the inside?
- Can you understand that it is the inside that matters most?
- How do you need to live to be at peace on the inside?
- What changes do you need to make in your life?

Fieldwork:
Think about your life and how you live it.  If there are things you need to do to feel better on the inside, start to make those changes.  Do the things you need to do so you feel great on the inside.

Bonus Challenge:
Make a list of 5 things you can do for others and go out and do those things.  Think about how you feel each time you do one of the items from your list.  Notice the changes this makes on the inside.

Quote: Topic 28: Abraham Lincoln-When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That's my religion.

Enjoy the journey!
Coach Gaye

27-B Find the Blessings in Your Everyday Life

This weeks topic, Being Good, is going to be a single post that will come later in the week.  Come back and visit to read more!

If you have worked on the fieldwork and bonus challenge from topic 27-A, you should have plenty of blessings on your list.  I hope you are taking time to notice all of the small things in your life that make a huge impact and bring you fulfillment.  I also hope you have found things to be thankful for that you have never acknowledged before.

By stopping to look around you and find things that bring you joy, I hope you begin to notice how this activity brings you into the present moment.  I know it is hard to stop and be present sometimes, but by doing something as simple as counting your blessings, it really can bring you back to the here and now.  It allows you to step away from anything you may be going through and it really helps you appreciate all of the little things you may normally overlook.

The more you begin to count your blessings, the more blessings you will find.  The blessings you think of at first may be larger blessings, but as you play around with this more and more, you will find that you start to notice the smaller things too.  Really begin to think of all of the things you are thankful for in your life and find your blessings in the everyday!

Questions:
Either spend some time journaling about these questions or take a few moments to think about your answers.
- What blessings do you have in your life?
- Can you keep adding to your list of blessings?
- Can you begin to acknowledge the small blessings you may normally overlook?
- How do you feel when you think about your blessings?
- How can you remember these blessings when things get hard or hectic?
- Can you use your blessings to help you through rough times?

Fieldwork:
Whenever you are feeling frustrated or need a little pick-me-up, find some new blessings or think of a few blessings from one of your lists.  Really appreciate all of the things around you and use this activity to help you through the rough times.

Enjoy the journey!
Coach Gaye

27-A Finding the Blessings in your everyday life

Sorry for not posting my new post on Thursday.  I am busy enjoying the blessings in my everyday life.  I will make new posts for last week and the upcoming week on Monday.  Join me then to get the latest updates!

I know sometimes it can feel like the blessings don't stop coming and other times, it may feel like you don't have much to be thankful about.  This week, I want our goal to be finding the blessings in the small things that are all around us everyday.  If you are on top of the world, you can still appreciate the small things around you and if you are struggling to keep it together, there may be something small you can find to appreciate.  Wherever you are in life right now, take a moment to feel the blessings surrounding you.

Do you have a loving family, a friend that makes you laugh, a beautiful garden, or a good book to read?  Did you have a yummy dessert, a good workout today, or do you have a comfortable home?  Whatever it is, take some time to notice the small pieces of your life that make it amazing.

For each of us, the small things we appreciate are going to be very different, but take some time to look around you and find the things that make you smile(either inside or out).  Notice how it feels when you see the small things and acknowledge how they make you feel.  Find some time to do this each day and notice how it changes your outlook. 

Questions:
Either journal about these questions or spend a few moments thinking about your answers.
- Do you normally take time to appreciate the small things in your life?
- What are some of the blessings surrounding your right now?
- Even if you are going through a rough time, is there at least one small thing you can appreciate?
- Do you feel better inside when you notice the blessings around you?
- How can you slow down a bit and notice these blessings more each day?
- What would it take to make this a habit?
- When will you start to do the work to make it a habit?

Fieldwork:
Make a list of at least 10 small blessings in your life right now.  If 10 was easy, continue on to 20 or 30.  Make it a bit challenging so you begin to notice the things you may not normally acknowledge.

Topic 27 Bonus Challenge:
Each day make a new list of 10+ blessings. Try to find new blessings each day so you stretch to notice the things you may normally ignore. Remember to challenge yourself and do more than 10 if this does not feel like a stretch.

Quote:

Charles Dickens- Reflect upon your present blessings of which every man has many, not on your past misfortunes, of which all men have some.

Enjoy the journey!
Coach Gaye

26-B Expectations

The upcoming topic will be Finding Blessings in the Everyday!  Come back later to read more!

In delving into our expectations and how they affect our life, it struck me that when we have expectations about others or even about situations that involve others, we may be setting ourselves up for stress or anxiety.  I always tell my kids that they can only control their actions but when we set expectations for others, aren't we trying to control someone else?  Do you see where this situation can lead to frustration? 

When we come into a situation with preconceived expectations, we are in essence trying to control how others are going to act or react and that is something we will never have control over.  When I took my 2 girls to dinner last night is a prime example of this process at work.  They had been really tired due to the start of school so I wanted to give them a little pick-me-up.  I had plans in my head that they would be really excited to go to their favorite Italian restaurant, but because they were so tired, they were not as excited as I had hoped.  They wined and complained through much of the dinner.  After we had been sitting there for a few minutes, I decided that no matter how they were acting, I was going to enjoy my night off from cooking.  I turned the situation inside and  I let go of my expectations for them.  This allowed me to free myself from my anxiety and I enjoyed my dinner even if their reactions did not meet my expectations.

By letting go of my expectations for my girls and for the situation, I was able to be more present and I was able to appreciate what I needed from the dinner out.  I was able to take control of the only person I have control over.  Me!  I changed my thoughts and changed how my entire evening went. 

Questions:
Either journal about these questions or spend a few minutes thinking about your answers.
- When have expectations made you frustrated?
- Did you expect something of someone else or yourself?
- Did it go exactly as planned?
- How can you let go of expectations so you can be more present and in the moment?
- How can you trust that situations will unfold in the perfect manner if you just let them?
- Who do you have control over?
- What can you do to hold yourself accountable for how you feel and how you handle situations?
- What steps do you need to take to let go of your expectations of others?

Fieldwork:
The next time a situation arises and you have expectations that are not met, find a way to turn this inside and change your reactions and your thoughts.  Create what you need in that moment.  Take control of you!

Topic 26 Bonus Challenge:
Free yourself from your expectations of others. Know that you are being provided with the message or lesson you need at the moment and allow things to unfold the way they are meant to be.

Quote:

 Elliott Larson- Anger always comes from frustrated expectations.

Enjoy the journey!
Coach Gaye

26-A Expectations

Something I have been paying attention to lately is how my expectations affect the situations in my life.  If I come into a situation with any preconcieved expectations, when things don't go the way I have worked out in my head, I get upset or frustrated.  I have a hard time just letting things play out the way they should and I find I spend time in advance thinking about how I want things to happen.  I especially notice it with my kids, but I do it with other people and in other situations too.

Here is a prime example.  When my kids get off the bus, I have expectations that homework and dinner time will be happy and fulfilling and not filled with stress.  Really, no laughing;)  When reality sets in and things start to go differently, I find this makes me frustrated.  My reactions become more about what is happening differently than I planned instead of about what is really going on.  When I am able to know that things are going to unfold however they will unfold and I quit trying to plan it all ahead, I become more present and I am able to actually enjoy homework time(or at least appreciate the learning going on).

I hope you can see that by shifting our thoughts, we can change everything about the situation.  If you have times when you are frustrated or angry, ask yourself if it is because you wanted things to go differently than they did?  If you notice this happening, try to let go of your expectations and open yourself up to the moment! 

Questions:
- Do you have times when you set expectations?
- When do you set the most expectations for yourself and others?
- When are you most angry or upset?
- Could this be caused by having expectations about what you want to happen?
- How does it affect you when things don't go as planned?
- Is there a way to approach situations without a preplanned agenda?
- How would it feel to open yourself up to just letting the situation unfold?
- Is there a way for you to do this?

Fieldwork:
This week, try to let go of your expectations.  Find at least one situation that normally gets the best of you and realize what expectations you are holding onto about this event.  Let things unfold naturally and appreciate just being in the moment instead of planning it all ahead.

Enjoy the journey!
Coach Gaye  

25-B New Beginnings

The topic for this upcoming week will be Expectations!  Join me tomorrow to read more.

Before a new beginning can show up, sometimes we have to say goodbye to something or someone in our life.  Saying goodbye is never easy, but if we can shift our thinking, saying goodbye does not have to be all bad.  Have you heard the song "Second Chance" by Shinedown before?  It says "sometimes goodbye is a second chance"?  I love the message that sends.  Goodbye can be an opportunity, a second chance.

If we step into each new beginning with the optimism of the second chance it could bring, we may open ourselves up to even more in life.  When you are in the midst of saying goodbye, you may not be able to see past that moment, but once you can take a breath and step back, try to find something positive that can come out of each situation.  By shifting your thoughts, you can really change how you see life.  Begin to see things as positive and this is what you will get.  Start fresh and open yourself up for your new beginnings. 

Questions: 
Either journal about these questions or spend a few moments thinking through your answers.
- What second chances are you ready for in your life?
- How can you look at goodbye as an opportunity instead of an ending?
- What new beginnings do you need to create for yourself?
- How can you open yourself up to the optimism of each new beginning and what it can bring into your life?

Fieldwork:
Find something you need to change in your life and create your new beginning right now.  Find  your second chance and make it work!

Enjoy the journey!
Coach Gaye

25-A New Beginnings

New Beginnings can bring about so many different emotions.  They can bring about excitement for trying something new, fear of leaving behind your old routine or anger for having to change what has become normal and comfortable for you.  What every new beginning has in common is that it provides you with an opportunity to grow and learn.  When things are ending, like a relationship or job, try to look at the opportunity this ending may be opening up for you. 
 When we are faced with hard times and we know a change needs to happen, it is normal to have difficulty making those changes.  Change is usually hard for us because we are creatures of habit and we get comfort from a routine.  What if we can shift our thinking about this?  What if we can begin to see that the end of one chapter is really a new beginning?  If we can shift our thinking, we can look at change as an opportunity rather than something to avoid.  We can maybe even start to welcome change so we can begin to create the forward movement we need in our lives to help us find true fulfillment.

Many times when we are embarking on a new journey, it is because a chapter of our life has come to an end.  Whether it is going to a new job, having a baby, or moving to a new city, we are letting go of one thing so we can embrace another.  The one constant thing we have in life is change.  We are always going to have something new we are facing or some new situation to get accustomed to.  If things didn't change imagine where we would be.  Be open to your new beginnings!

Questions: 
Either journal about these questions or spend a few moments thinking about your answers.
- How can you look at change as positive?
- How can you see the end of one thing as the opportunity for a new beginning?
- Have you had a time in your life when you felt horrible about the ending of something, but looking back on it now, it really was the beginning of something new and wonderful?
- How can you find the new beginning in the situations you are currently facing?
- What new beginnings are you ready for?

Fieldwork:
What is something new you are embarking on in your life or something you are struggling with?  Can you begin to see the opportunity in this situation?  How is this going to make a positive impact on you?  Become aware of how this situation can impact your life in a wonderful new way and find your "new beginning"!

Topic 25 Bonus Challenge:
Think about something you are being hesitant to take on because it may be new and challenging. Get out of your comfort zone and don't let anything hold you back. Start your new beginning now!

Quote:

 Seneca- Every new beginning comes from some other beginning's end.

Enjoy the journey!
Coach Gaye