Monday, April 11, 2011

11A- Success Group

Thursday blog posts are moving to Fridays!  See you tomorrow.

Hi everyone,

Many of you may have seen the topic Success Group and wondered what it is.  A Success Group is a group comprised of 4-6 people that meet regularly to support each other, provide each other motivation and to hold each other accountable.  It is a great place to work through struggles or to get insight to help with ideas you may have.  The group will also be great at helping you with personal goals, family goals or goals for your business.  Depending on what your needs are, find a group of like minded people who want results similar to yours.  The goal of the group can be focused on your unique needs and wants and you can cater the groups structure to best fit the group involved.

A Success Group is beneficial because it allows you to work on your individual goals and it allows you to focus on what is most important to you, with the groups support.  By creating the group dynamic, it opens you up to challenges you may not have taken on your own.  You may step outside of your comfort zone and challenge yourself and accomplish goals at a faster rate than if you were alone.  It can really provide great benefits!   

I recently started a Success Group of 5 women that are in circumstances similar to mine.  We are all "stay at home Moms" working on something outside of the home too.  I really wanted a group of goal oriented individuals that also have a strong sense of family.  Because we come from similar backgrounds, we are able to be more understanding of time constraints and we can be more flexible with the structure we have put in place.  Since we are such a new group, we are building the group to be what is perfect for each of our needs.  It is great to have a sounding board for new ideas and it is great to get input from others.  Of course, as a coach, I really love the accountability we offer each other too.  At each meeting, we set goals for ourselves and when we meet again, we check in on our progress.   I am really looking forward to the goals we will be able to reach with the positive energy and support of the group!
 
Starting the group has been so exciting.  The positive feedback and sharing is such a great experience.  As we make progress in the group, I will continue to share.  Also, on Thursday, I will go more in detail about setting up your own Success Group.

Questions:
Either journal about these questions or spend some time thinking about your answers.
- Could you accomplish more if you had a group to hold you accountable?
- What types of goals are you interested in setting for yourself?
- Who would make up your ideal group of 4-6 people?
- What skill sets would the individuals have?
- What skills do you have to offer others?
- Would a Success Group be beneficial to you?

Fieldwork:
Think about your ideal Success Group.  What would it look like?  Who would be in it?  What would you help each other with?

Topic 11 Bonus Challenge:
Start your own Success Group and see where it takes you! Check back Thursday for more tips.

Quote: Margaret Mead- Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful committed people can chage the world. Indeed. It is the only thing that ever has.

Enjoy the journey!
Coach Gaye

Thursday, April 7, 2011

10B- Love Yourself

Topic 11A is Starting a Success Group.  Join me Monday to hear more!

I hope you were able to join me for 10A.  If you noticed the messages you have been sending yourself are not as positive as you like, I hope you are working on changing those messages.  You are truly special and you deserve to love yourself and your life!

Loving yourself is so much more than just giving yourself a break or being more positive towards yourself.  It is about knowing yourself, both the good and the bad.  It is about being open to change what you need to change.  It is about accepting your life journey and growing each step of the way.

Once you love yourself, you are free to love others.  You open yourself up to an acceptance that can help you through anything.  An important factor in being truly happy is to truly love who you are!  What will it take for you to love and accept yourself?

Questions:
Either journal about these topics or spend some time thinking about the answers.
- Do you love yourself?
- Why or why not?
- What needs to change for you to love "you"?
- What would it feel like to look and the mirror and say "I love you" and truly mean it?
- What would it free you from?
- What would it open you up to?

Fieldwork:
Say "I love you" to yourself each night before bed.  Make this a habit.  Take the bonus challenge and say it to yourself in the mirror too!

Quote:Agnes Repplier- It is not easy to find happiness in ourselves, and it is not possible to find it elsewhere.

Enjoy the journey!
Coach Gaye

Monday, April 4, 2011

10A- Love Yourself

Sorry for the delay in getting this post out.  You know how life can get in the way sometimes!!

If you joined me last week and worked on accepting your past, the next step is to love yourself.  If you have accepted your past, this frees you to love everything the has brought you to this spot.  If the present is perfect, how can the past that brought you here be bad?  Let it go and find a way to love yourself.

How many of you can truly say "I love myself" and mean it?  Sometimes this can be so hard and it can make us pretty uncomfortable.  Why is that?

We seem to give everyone else a break and accept them for who they are, the good and the bad.  Like when we tell our kids we will love them no matter what.  What happens to this unconditional love when we look internally?  When it comes to self love and acceptance, we are oftentimes extra judgemental.  We tend to hold onto everything we do and reprocess the same situation over and over.  How many times have you been out and said or done something you regretted and then gone home and continued to think about it?  How many times can you beat yourself up for the same thing?  You deserve a break too!

When working with clients, many seem to struggle when I ask them is they can honestly say they love themselves?  They want to, but just don't know how.  It is amazing how this one thing can change your perspective and improve your life.  So much of who we are and how we act is tied to the love we have for ourself.  Our self-esteem really impacts everything we do.  If we can change this one thing, we can change anything!

Questions:
Either journal about these topics or spend some time thinking through each answer.
- Do you give yourself a hard time?
- How can you be more understanding of yourself?
- How can you cherish how special and unique you are?
- How can you love who you are?
- Do you treat yourself the same way you treat others?
- Why or why not?
- What do you love about you?
- What do you bring to those around you?
- How can you appreciate this more?
- What will it take for you to love yourself unconditionally?

Fieldwork:
Notice the thoughts you have about yourself this week.  Are they negative or positive?  What messages do you send to yourself?

Topic 10 Bonus Challenge: Say "I love you" to yourself in the mirror. Maybe try a kiss too! If you find this is hard to do, why? Work on doing this until it feels comfortable.

Enjoy the journey!
Coach Gaye

Thursday, March 31, 2011

9B- Let Go of the Past

Hi everyone,

If you read the blog earlier in the week and you are working on letting things from the past go, great job!!  I know this is really hard to do so keep up the good work.  If you are reading the blog for the first time, you may want to go back to topic 9A before doing 9B.  You can also go to any other topics that interest you, or for maximum growth, start at 1A and work your way through the topics.

I know our past issues are something we all have in common.  We have all dealt with something that has affected us negatively.  Our past has shaped who we are and how we react to everything.  By holding onto the negative, we are letting the bad things win.  Take control and decide to let them go.  Most often we remember the bad that has happened and forget the good.  Decide how you will let your past affect you.

For me, I grew up in a family situation that was not ideal.  Without going into too much detail, there were things that happened that could definitely have a negative impact on me and my relationships with others.  I have really had to work on not letting myself be the victim.  Instead of holding onto the things that were negative, I have chosen to look at the good that was there.  While there were bad things that happened, there were also many good things and I am not going to lose those because they are overshadowed by the negative.  I can be bitter at those involved for their poor choices, or I can understand that they did the best they could.  My past experiences, both the good and the bad, have made me into the person I am today so I choose to see my whole past as a good experience.  I have learned so much from the negative.  For everyone, this process is going to be different.  Find what will work for you to move on and let the past go!  You deserve a wonderful life!

Questions:
- How does your past affect you?
- Do you  hold onto the negative from your past?
- What would it take for you to let it go?
- What can you do that you have control over?
- What do you need to do to see the past in a more positive light?
- What positive choices will you make today?

Fieldwork:
Think of the bad things that have happened to you.  Was there any good in any of those situations?  Did you learn something valuable?  How can you reshape your thoughts so you are able to see things in a more positive way?

Quote: Johnny Cash-You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don't try to forget the mistakes but you don't dwell on it. You don't let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.

Enjoy the journey!
Coach Gaye

Monday, March 28, 2011

9A- Let Go of the Past

Hi everyone,

Last week we were talking about being more present.  If  you are doing this, you can't hold onto the past.  Especially the bad.  You take it and accept it has made you who you are and move on from there.  If you are happy with who you are, the negative things in your past can't be something you keep with you.  You have to let them go and appreciate them for the job they did in making you who you are.

Most everyone has had something bad happen to them in the past.  We need to appreciate the purpose of this and move on and grow.  If not, we are letting that situation control part of who we are.  If we bog ourselves down with past hurt or anger and we don't forgive and move on, we are the ones that suffer.  We all make mistakes and we have all done something that has hurt someone else.  We can allow that to control our life or we can decide to make different choices based on the present.

Do you have negative things holding you back?  The past has served it's purpose!  Let it go!

Questions:
Either journal about these questions or think through each one!
- How does the past affect the choices you make today?
- What do you need to let go of from the past?
- What in your past is dragging you down?
- How does the past show up for you?
- Can you remember the past and not let it control the choices you make today?
- Does your past hold you back?
- Where do you want to live?  In the past or present??
- What is keeping you from doing that?
- How does the past show up for you?
- What are you going to do to let go of the past?

Fieldwork:
Think of at least one negative thing from your past that you are holding onto.  Take control of the situation and find a way to let it go.

 Topic 9 Bonus Challenge: Decide on at least one thing from your past that you need to forgive yourself or someone else for. Really work on finding a way to be at peace with the situation. What do you need to do to let it go? Now, do that!

Quote:  Johnny Cash You build on failure. You use it as a stepping stone. Close the door on the past. You don't try to forget the mistakes but you don't dwell on it. You don't let it have any of your energy, or any of your time, or any of your space.

Enjoy the journey!
Coach Gaye

Thursday, March 24, 2011

8B-Be present

Topic 9A will be Let Go of the Past.  Visit the blog tomorrow to get your fieldwork and questions!

If you are reading the blog for the first time, welcome!  If you are a regular visitor and you did the fieldwork from topic 8A, what did you find?  Where do you spend most of your time?  Do you need to work on spending more time in the present? 

By living more in the present, it can open us up to a more fulfilling life.  We are be able to truly experience what life has to offer.  Living in the present does not mean you can't set goals and have aspirations for your future and it does not mean you can't think about the past.  It means you set future goals and work on those and you appreciate what has happened to you in the past but you don't dwell on things that have already taken place.

Today, I drove to Charlotte and had plenty of time to work on being more present.  So often when driving I am on autopilot and I use the time in the car to plan things, go over my to do list or to think over things I have done or could have handled better.  It was a constant challenge to really focus on everything going on around me and to stay in the present moment.  What I noticed the most was that each time I brought myself to the present moment, I became more relaxed.  When I think about the past or the future, I tend to hang onto tension and it was great to be present and let that go.  Today, I saw more clouds, billboards, cars and trees than I have in a long time!!

For everyone, what you feel may be very different.  By being aware and noticing how you feel, you can begin to cater your choices to what works best for you!

Questions:
Either think about the answers or journal about your thoughts.
- How can you find your balance of planning for the future and setting goals while still living in the present?
- Where do you spend most of your time?  Past, present or future?
- What do you need to do to be more present in your own life?
- How can you let go of the past and realize it is over and live more in the present moment?
- Think back to at least one time today when you were truly present.
- How did it make you feel?
- How can you spend more time in that space?

Fieldwork:
8B-Really work on being more present the rest of the week.  Make a choice to leave the past behind and not to spend too much time in the future.  Just be 100% present.  Notice the difference between when you are present and when you are being pulled one way or the other.

Bonus Challenge:
Give up one thing that is holding you back from living in the present moment.  What are you holding onto and what do you need to let go of?

Quote of the week:
Terri Guillemets- Don't let the past steal your present.

Enjoy the journey!
Coach Gaye

Monday, March 21, 2011

8A- Be present!

Hi everyone,
I hope you are enjoying the blog.  Topic 7 leads into the topic this week.  Being present.  If we are not taking things personally and are not reacting personally(topic 7), we are on our way to handling things in the present.  This week we will look at how we can live more in the present moment.  If we can live in the present, the past won't interfere with how we react to situations and the future will not occupy an excess amount of our time.  We will find our perfect balance between the three.

By being present, we allow ourselves to just feel our most current feelings and we are not dragged down by things we should have done or things we need to do.  We don't react based on past feelings or emotions and we don't spend our time thinking about things we wish we would have done or things we could have handled differently.

When I think back to the times I have enjoyed the most, whether with kids, family or friends, it is the times I am most present that stand out as the best for me.  I am truly able to enjoy myself the most when I just let myself be in the moment.  When I leave behind the things I should have done or the things I need to do, the present is perfect!

For me the "present" is my gift to myself.  I was thinking through the times when I am most present.  It is when I am cooking dinner and trying to get everything on the table at the same time or when I am writing my blog or mountain biking.  These are gifts to me that help me find more of myself in my everyday life.  One of my favorite activities that really keeps me in the moment is yoga.  When I am in class, I am able to focus solely on what I am doing in the moment, and I can leave everything else at the door.  What do you have that allows you to be truly present?

Many of the weekly topics are really hard to make a part of your life, but if you do it, it can really make a huge difference in your overall happiness.  What type of life do you want?

After writing this blog, I realize I am not always as present with my kids as I want to be.  This week, I am going to focus on really letting everything else go when I am with them.  I am going to be more present in those moments because they are the ones that matter most and the ones I enjoy the most!

Questions:
Either think about these questions or spend some time journaling about them.
- When do you have the most fun?
- Are you in the past, present or future?
- How much time do you spend replaying things you have done?
- How much time do you spend planning for things you need to do?
- How does it feel when you are not in the present moment?
- What can you do to be more present?
- How much time do you spend in the past and future?  In the present?
- Do you feel you have a good balance?

Fieldwork:
8A- Look at different situations this week and notice if you are in the past, present or future?  How can these situations improve if you are more in the present?

Enjoy the journey!
Coach Gaye