The topic this week is don't take it personally.
A while back, I read the book The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz and one of the four agreements is not taking things personally. By adapting this thought process, it allows us to be more accepting of others and their actions and it allows us to handle situations in a more understanding way It sounds pretty simple, but to break the messages we play over and over again when something happens to us, is easier said than done.
Not long ago, I had two upsetting situations show up in my life one right after the other. Normally, I would have harped on the fact that I could not believe how these two people were treating me and it would have really taken an emotional toll on me as well. I took this lesson about not taking things personal to heart and I decided to approach both situations differently. I was able to remove my feelings from these situations and this allowed me to handle my emotions in a more effective way. Instead of feeling attacked and reacting, I was able to understand that maybe this was not really about me at all. This was something these two people were dealing with based on their own lives and insecurities and they had to own that, not me.
It was very freeing for me to be able to let it go. Most people may not even realize the effects of their actions on others and if we hold onto everything, we are the ones with extra stress and anxiety. When I first started using this approach, it was something I had to consciously think about and process. Now, it is much easier to see what someone else must be going through or what has happened in their past to make them react a certain way. This has allowed me to give others the benefit of the doubt and realize that most people really do have good intentions and they are not out to hurt others.
This week really try to see others as reacting based on their own story and not as being out to get you. Don't take it personally, let it go!!
Either journal about these questions or think through each one:
-Do you take things personally?
-How do you feel when someone gets upset or mad at you?
-How do you feel when someone does something to you that is upsetting?
-Do you place blame when situations like this arise?
-How can you take a step back and allow someone to deal with things based on their life and not take it personally?
-Can you give that person a break and realize the situation is more about them and their issues, not you?
When someone does something to you, try to realize they are doing it based on their life and their situation and it may not really be about you at all. Try to understand where they are coming from and why they may be doing what they are doing. Let the next situation that would normally upset you be about the other person not you!
Enjoy the journey!