Friday, October 7, 2011

33-B Forgiveness

When working on forgiveness, it is important to really work on forgiving yourself for all of the things you are holding onto.  When your friends or family do things, sometimes you can easily forgive them, but if you did the same exact thing they did, you would have a hard time forgiving yourself.  We can all be so hard on our self and so judgemental of our own actions.

We tend to beat ourselves up for all of the "bad" things we do and we allow those feelings of unworthiness, self doubt, self blame and self loathing to begin to form who we think we are.  While our choices are a symbol of who we are, they don't define us as a person.  We all make mistakes and do things we wish we had not done.  The question is how can you begin to forgive yourself for your mistakes?

If you can begin to see the lesson in your actions, you can forgive yourself when think you have made a mistake.  If you realize what the lesson is and learn and grow from your mistakes, are they really mistakes?  Can you find a way to forgive yourself for all of your "mistakes" and truly learn the lesson they are there to teach?

Either journal about these questions or spend some time thinking through your answers.
- What do you need to forgive yourself for?
- What lessons do you need to learn from the "mistakes"  you have made?
- What is holding you back from forgiving yourself and others?
- What would it feel like to forgive all of the grudges you are holding onto?
- How would it feel inside your heart?
- Is it worth holding onto the things you are holding onto?
- Who is paying the price for not offering forgiveness to yourself and others?
- Are you willing to forgive so you can grow and open up?

Think back to the last time you were upset or angry at yourself for something you have done.  Forgive yourself for that action and find the lesson in it.  Find a way to move past what you are holding onto.  You are a wonderful person so treat yourself that way!

Enjoy the journey!
Coach Gaye  

Monday, October 3, 2011

33-A Forgiveness

This weeks topic is forgiveness.  Forgiving others as well as yourself!  It can be hard to forgive others when they have done something that hurts or upset you, but when you hold on to things, you are the one that suffers.

Your ego is here to protect you and when someone does something to hurt you, your ego jumps in and says, that person did something wrong so I am going to be angry at them.  If you look at what is really happening and if you can realize your ego is making you upset to protect you, you can begin to judge your reaction with less emotion.  When you were a child, your ego really did need to protect you, but now that you are an adult, you really don't need all of that protection.  If you become conscious about what your ego is protecting you from, you can work on the issues you may have that are limiting you and your growth.

From my childhood, I held onto the message that I was unworthy.  By understanding that my childhood feelings of unworthiness cause my reaction to situations as an adult, I can make changes to how I react now.  Everytime a person or situation makes me feel unworthy, my ego jumps in and tries to protect me.  I don't need this protection anymore.  I can forgive myself and others when I feel this way.  When I look at my childhood through adult eyes, I can understand that no one purposely tried to make me feel unworthy so it is important for me to forgive my past as well.  Understanding and forgiving my past and changing my reaction in the present is what will allow me to grow and move on.

The first step to forgive others is realize what in you is making you so angry or upset.  Once you realize what the situation is bringing up in you, you can forgive others when they make you feel this way.  Most people are not trying to attack you personally or consciously.  After you have forgiven others,  you also need to go back inside and forgive yourself.  Appreciate what your ego is trying to protect you from and acknowledge that you don't need that protection anymore.  By forgiving others, yourself and your ego, you can truly be free.

Either journal about these questions or spend a few minutes thinking about each of your answers.
- What do you need to forgive others for?
- What do you need to forgive yourself for?
- What is your ego trying to protect you from?
- What behavior in others makes you angry?
- Why does this behavior make you angry or upset?
- What does their behavior bring up inside of you?
- What feeling as a child is your ego protecting your from?
- How can you acknowledge that you don't need protection from this anymore?
- How can you forgive and move on so you are ready to grow?
- What would it feel like to forgive and let go of all of the negative emotions surrounding you?

Are you holding onto something that you need to forgive someone for?  Work through why you are so angry and find a way to forgive them, you and your ego.  Find peace and understanding about the situation.

Enjoy the journey!
Coach Gaye