Friday, July 15, 2011

22-B Leave your Ego Behind

This weeks post will be Finding Your Purpose.  Join me Monday to read more!

Can your ego ever be beneficial?  There are definitely different thoughts on this.  Some think the ego is always negative and that our ego drives us to be selfish so we should avoid it at all costs.  Others think we would not accomplish anything without a little pushing from our ego so we should embrace it.  I fall somewhere in the middle.  I think our egos can be beneficial if we are being true to our unique self and we use our ego to motivate us to accomplish goals that are positive and serve a greater purpose. 

You need to decide how much you want your ego present in your life.  If you let your ego take over when you react to situations and you want to react from a less egocentric perspective, then work on that.  If you feel your ego can benefit and drive you to help others and the world, then work on that.  Everyone will have different thoughts on this and I encourage you to evaluate what will work best for you and your life.

By being true to your self and your true purpose and calling, you can use your ego to help create the life you really want to be living.  By helping others and living a life that is on purpose, you will see the benefits come back to you.  Begin to define your purpose and evaluate everything you want in your life and decide how your ego will play a part in achieving your goals. 

Does your ego help you or hurt you?
How does it help or hurt you?
Are there times when your ego gets in your way?
Are there times when your ego helps you accomplish beneficial and positive goals?
Can you find a way to balance your ego so it provides benefits but does not rule you in a negative way?

Darren L. Johnson- The ego competes with the spirit for control over your inner voice.

Begin to find ways to use your ego in a positive way to help others while staying true to you.  Open yourself up to others and you will see the benefits in your own life.

Topic 22 Bonus Challenge:
The next time someone is upset with you, begin to notice why they may be reacting the way they are. Are they reacting based on their need to protect their ego? If so, begin to understand this is what is happening and try to approach the situation in a more understanding way. See if you can help them remove their ego from the situation.

Decide the role you want your ego to play and go for it!
Enjoy the journey! 
Coach Gaye

Tuesday, July 12, 2011

22-A Leave your ego behind!

Leaving your ego behind is something I have really been working on for myself lately.  I hope you will enjoy working on this too.  When I am able to leave my ego behind, it really helps me react more truly to a situation.  When my ego shows up in my reactions, I tend to over react and my feelings get hurt and I get more upset about things than I need to.  When I am able to leave my ego out of a situation, it allows me to realize things are not usually personal and it lets me remove myself a bit from the situation.

We have been conditioned to respond to things based on how our ego feels and sometimes that may not produce the best result.  When we come from an ego based response instead of letting our ego go, we may react in a more negative way to things.  We have to protect ourselves right??  I know it is hard to leave your ego behind, but when you do, it allows you to be more present and more true to who you are.  You can remove your learned responses and defenses and really see the situations more clearly.  You can realize you are not your ego and you don't have to protect yourself as much as you thought.

An example of a situation where I know my ego was involved in my responses was when my daughter was playing soccer this spring.  I got caught up in wanting her to be the best and when she got off the field, I would tell her ways to improve.  Once I realized my reaction was based on my ego and my reaction to what other people thought, I decided to change.  I am so much more conscious of telling her the things she does well and I really try to see things through her eyes instead of my own.  I am now better at seeing that my daughter is having fun when she plays and she improves each time she is out there, so really, what more can I ask for.

By shifting my focus from myself and how I was feeling to how my daughter was feeling, I was able to remove my ego from my reaction.  For both of us, this made for a much better interaction.  I hope you will begin to see when you are handling something based on your ego and begin to make small shifts to leave your ego behind!

Either think about your responses or take some time to journal about the following questions.
- Does your ego control your responses?
- Do you react in a certain way to protect yourself?
- Does this work for you in a negative or positive way?
- How can you remove your ego from your responses and not take things so personally?
- How would it feel to remove your ego from your reactions?
- How can you realize your ego is not a definition of who and what you truly are?
- How can you be more true to who and what you are?

Notice your reactions to different situations.  Is your ego involved in your responses?  Allow yourself to take a step back and notice that your ego does not have to control you.  You can respond to both positive and negative situations without allowing your ego to take over.

Enjoy the journey!
Coach Gaye